Adult jokes are just that, aimed at adults and I take no credit for any on this page. Their original source or words belong to whoever and started wherever. I tell them my way. If they make you smile or chuckle like they originally did to me then that is great. If not then I hope you find your sense of humour one day.
As defined by Collins Online Dictionary: “An adult is a mature, fully developed person. An adult has reached the age when they are legally responsible for their actions”. Generally, that means 18 and over but if you are under 18 or easily offended then you are on the wrong page!
As well as the short adult jokes on here there are longer jokes via the Blog Posts below.
Contents
Short Adult Jokes
What happened to the short-sighted circumciser?
He got the sack!
Why do elephants have four feet?
They would look daft with just 6 inches!
Two overweight regulars are sitting in the pub. “Your round,” said the one, to which the other replied, “You can talk you fat fucker!”
Did you hear about the gay magician?
He vanished with a poof!
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse!
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic, you use a feather. Kinky, you use the whole chicken!
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb!
What gets longer when pulled, fits between a woman’s tits, inserts neatly into a hole and works when best jerked hard?
A seat belt!
What has a monkey got in common with a chainsaw?
They both fuck up trees!
What do you call a man with no arms or legs, playing the piano?
A clever dick!
What is the difference between burnt toast and a pregnant woman?
Nothing. In both cases, it was taken out too late!
What is the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMT?
You can negotiate with a terrorist!
What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A fridge doesn’t fart when you take the meat out!
There were two prostitutes sitting by the river on a sunny afternoon. “It’s going to be a great night tonight.” said the one, “I smell cock in the air” to which the other replied, “Oh sorry, that was me I burped!”
What is nasal sex?
Fuck nose!
When is a pixie not a pixie?
When she as her head down an elf’s pants. Then she’s a goblin!
Longer Adult Jokes
See below.
Blog Posts
Links
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