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The Decade I Struggled A Lot In
As with the last decade, I hardly remember anything about this one too, less even. I was very ill and my mental health was at its worst ever in my life. It wasn’t just about surviving for me, I just wanted to end the pain and suicidal thoughts would often battle in my mind with what normality there was going on around me and it never seemed very normal.
Pretty much all the memories I can remember from this decade are sad ones like when my heart was broken and I felt like a part of me was missing with the passing of my Dad on the 12th of July, 2012, a day before trying to hold myself together to celebrate my first Granddaughter Kasey’s first birthday the day after. This is the decade I lost my beloved pets, my dog Rocky on the 16th of July 2015 and my cat Holly on the 18th of November, 2019. The only happy memories I truly have are the birth of Kasey, on the 13th of July, 2011 and my first Grandson Tyler on 17th March 2014 thanks to Jnr. I won’t mention the bitch he was with at the time. Add to that Debbie finding happiness meeting Ben and in turn presenting me with my 2nd Grandson Benji, born on the 26th September 2019 plus Jnr finding happiness by meeting Zoe and Matthew at the end of the decade. I am proud to call Matthew my Grandson as I am of all my Grandkids.
All of the above, with the exception of the few happy events mentioned, were devastating to me but my heart was completely shattered into a million pieces and my world was turned upside down when my Mom suddenly passed away on the 23rd of July, 2019. I felt lost for a long time after that. There was so much death and pain in my life in this decade and I struggled to see any way through it at all.